The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her
hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country
one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and
stopped the car to take in their beauty. She noticed the farmer just standing
there watching too. She walked up to him asked some questions on raising sheep.
She then asked, "If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock, can I
have one"? The farmer agreed. She guessed, 387. The farmer said that was
correct. So, go take your pick on which one you want. She went into the flock
and then to her car. The farmer stopped her, and asked, "If I can guess
what your natural hair color is, can I have my DOG back"?
See if you can find the hidden image in the
group of characters below. It takes some concentration, but it's worth it. Don't
cheat by scrolling down before you look at it. Have fun! (You'll be surprised
when you see what it is!)
Most people find it easiest to put your nose
right up to the screen, then slowly back away while continuing to stare.
If you still don't see it scroll down for the
ANSWER: It's a picture of..........NOTHING!!! I
can't believe you fell for that! I hope someone walked by and saw you looking
like a complete fool with your eyes crossed and your nose against the screen!
Okay, you hate me now, so forward this on to someone else to impose upon them
the same feelings of idiocy that you just experienced!
Old Lady Farts
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have
this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never
smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times
since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they
don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what on earth you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."
The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
Gorilla In A TreeA man walked into his backyard in a residential neighborhood one morning. He saw a 600 pound Gorilla sitting in his tree.He telephoned an emergency Gorilla Removal Service, and shortly a technician arrived with a stick, a pair of hand cuffs, a tiny Chihuahua, and a shotgun.
UNCLE FRANKBob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner. "Hello?" said a little girl's voice.
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
"Oh no! And what about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too."
There was a long pause, then Bob said, "Swimming pool? Is this 555- 7039?"
Read all the Numbers... Slowly!! Be Careful....or else you'll miss something.. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 very good tomorrow we'll learn abc
Bubu stopped at a fast food restaurant
recently. I was fascinated by a
which offered fat free french fries. I decided to
give them a try. I
dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries
from the fryer
dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries
and put them in
"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free."
"Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes. .
. The fat is free!"
Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic.
One of them was crying, tears were pouring down his
face. The other guy
asked, "Why are
you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here
blood test." The second
one asked, "So?
>Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" The first guy
replied, "No, During the
blood test they cut my finger." Hearing this, the
second one started
crying. The first one was astonished and asked the
other, "Why are you
crying?" Then the second guy replied, "I'm here for
a urine test."
Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and
tired of all the blonde
jokes. So one evening she went home and memorized
all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started
telling a dumb blonde
joke. She interrupted him with a shrill
announcement, "I've had it up to
here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know
that this blonde went home
last night and did something probably none of you
memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys,
of course, said "I don't
believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N,"
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would
reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother
told her this
was wrong, she must say,
"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in
Sunday School, and asked,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She
replied, "I thought I was, but
mother says I'm not."
Patient: It's been one month since my last visit
I still feel miserable.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the
medicine I gave you?
Patient: I sure did. The bottle said, "keep tightly
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